I have been doing genealogy for over 20 years, 8 of which includes genetic genealogy. I have been on find-a-grave longer than my profile shows, but have started to concentrate my efforts on this platform while my work continues.

Appreciation to Professional Members

Firstly, I extend heartfelt gratitude to all volunteers and genealogists at Find a Grave, particularly those dedicated to fieldwork and documentation. Your efforts, especially in recording graves unrelated to you, are truly commendable and contribute immensely to our shared history.

My Commitment to Family History

My primary goal is to locate the final resting places of my ancestors, descendants, and collateral relations. I aim to create or link as many profiles as possible and ensure their biographies honor their memory and our family history. These profiles are not static; I actively maintain them, refining and updating their stories as my lifelong work continues.

Requesting Profile Transfers

In some cases, submitting edits to profiles I do not manage is insufficient for my purposes. I may request management of selected profiles—even if they fall outside standard transfer guidelines—because the rules aren't meant to prevent others from deeply engaging with their family history. A respectful request to manage is a transfer request, not an edit request.

I implore you to consider transferring these profiles to me. By doing so, you allow me not only to preserve my ancestry but also to share it with other descendants. Blocking my ability to manage these profiles hampers the preservation and sharing of our shared heritage. I will not share my copyrighted work on the platform unless I can manage the profiles where I have a deep need to contribute actively. I won't do this through proxying or constant edit requests.

Special Thanks

Special thanks to Tom Hartman, who graciously transferred a few of my relatives' profiles before he passed. His willingness to share management made this community better by making members feel welcomed and entrusted. Unfortunately, after his passing, several unrelated individuals acquired those profiles which If I ask, please be kind to his memory and my efforts. I look to members like you to share your knowledge and expertise, fostering a collaborative environment.

Why Transfers Matter

When I see profiles of close family or direct ancestors—sometimes even descendants or collateral relations—being held by others who are not actively maintaining them, I feel compelled to request management. Profiles that have been static for years, even decades, are like empty pages in a family album. If you're not spending significant time on my personal family history and stories, I kindly ask you to consider transferring management.

Transferring these profiles to me allows for continual access to update and refine their biographies, which is essential for the in-depth work I am committed to doing. This is not an arbitrary request but a heartfelt plea to better preserve our shared heritage. By aligning with Find a Grave's intent—that profiles are not intended to be static—we ensure that the memories of our ancestors are kept alive and accurate for future generations.

Approach to Profile Management

I intentionally keep a low number of managed profiles to focus on quality over quantity. Each profile I oversee receives dedicated attention, with updates occurring regularly as new information comes to light. Some of my ancestors' biographies are complex due to erroneous or false genealogies circulating elsewhere. Correcting these inaccuracies requires extensive work (time and money) and continual access to certain profiles as the genealogy evolves. As a result, I will not work through proxying my work to someone and one the first lesson my predicessor family genealogist taught me, he said "never share your work until its done because others will just steal all your hard work and put it out as their own." I try to maintain a balance of sharing while also compiling for a later publication.

I consider managing these profiles a personal lifelong commitment. By transferring them to me, you enable me to honor their memories fully and share detailed, accurate histories with all descendants and family members. I will not proxy my work through constant edit requests, especially when not related. A transfer request from me means I have considered all factors and have a genuine need to manage that profile.

Communication and Responsiveness

Between 2019 and 2023, I have only 23 inbox and 24 outbox messages. If I reach out to you, it's because there is a credible need or a strong calling to do so. If I don't hear back, I understand you may be busy—as I often am—but I may check in occasionally in case you missed my request. Multiple messages from me simply indicate that I haven't received a response, not that I'm attempting to pressure you. Please be respectful of my communication, as that is my intent when I reach out.

If you initiate communication, PLEASE...avoid reaching out to initiate any communications in a negative or terse way or hurling insults, "You need to do this or that," or using false assertions or pointing to one fact without complete genealogical analysis.

I honor my ancestors by sharing information from personal family knowledge and extensive offline research, connecting them to their stories for future generations while protecting my copyrights. This doesn't grant permission to copy or redistribute the content I've created without consent, including any photos or detailed narratives I've added. I will not share my copyrighted work on the platform unless I can manage the profiles where I have a deep need to contribute actively.

Transfer Requests to Me

Direct Ancestors: I will retain management of direct ancestors I actively maintain because I feel best suited to honor and preserve their memory due to my extensive research and personal connection. Retaining these profiles ensures that I can continually refine and update their stories, correcting any inaccuracies and adding new findings.

Shared Ancestors: If you descend from a child of our shared ancestor, I will consider your request based on transfer guidelines and the extent of my work. If I've conducted significant research or if there are concerns about inaccurate genealogies, I may retain management to ensure the integrity of the information. This is to prevent the spread of false narratives that could mislead other descendants.

Descendants and Collateral Relations: For incidental relations, such as descendant spouses, I will evaluate transfer requests on a case-by-case basis, considering both your relationship and the work I've invested.

Unrelated Profiles: If I manage profiles unrelated to me and they are your direct relations within the transfer rules, I have no hesitation in transferring them. Please provide a basis for your relationship, as I am diligent in verifying genealogical connections.

Assumptions and Professionalism

Please do not make assumptions about me or my motives. I'm not attempting to "take" profiles from you but am seeking to connect with and honor my ancestors. If I didn't care deeply, I wouldn't be reaching out. Blocking my ability to manage requested profiles not only hinders me but also prevents other descendants from accessing accurate and enriched family histories.

Find a Grave becomes crucial for me to manage certain profiles where I can present true biographical and genealogical information, continually refined over time. I will not share my copyrighted work unless I can ensure it is properly managed and credited, which is why management of these profiles is so important to me. A respectful request to manage is a transfer request, not an edit request.

If there is a misunderstanding in our communication, know that it's unintentional. Genealogy often involves late nights and complex research, so clarity can sometimes suffer. I always aim to be respectful and professional and hope for the same courtesy in return.

As a former Ancestry.com insider who helped shaped ideas deployed on the platform including DNA features, I am turning my attention to this platform and any negative community experiences.

Avoiding False Narratives

As a dedicated genealogist with over 25 years of experience—including extensive work in genetic genealogy—I value accuracy and integrity. When false narratives are used to avoid transferring profiles, it not only blocks my ability to preserve my ancestry but also to share it with other descendants. My close and distant cousins keep asking me to share and manage profiles so we can ensure our legacy is preserved by family. It undermines the collaborative spirit of our community and hampers the preservation of our shared heritage. Be assured that informing of false relations violates site policies, and I can find out quickly. So be kind and grow this community where you can transfer management if you are unrelated. Blocking does not grow the community and actually, does not serve the purpose of preserving the memories of profiles and a sense of community for the next generation.

I'm here to honor our ancestors, not to collect profiles or undermine others' contributions. Blocking each other's efforts serves no one. Let's collaborate to enrich our shared family histories, remaining humble and focused on the greater good. It is no doubt that I WILL touch every profile I manage over time and maintain them.

Final Thoughts

The selfless act of transferring management for the profiles I've requested would mean the world to me. You have my utmost respect and gratitude for your contributions to this community. Together, we can ensure that the memories of those who came before us are preserved with the honor and detail they deserve.

Finally, as a young distant cousin new to genealogy once told me regarding our shared family line, "You are doing very important work." This work is not just for me; it's for the many generations that follow. Blocking my efforts—and me blocking yours—does no good for anyone. It's a reminder for all of us to be humble and to support each other in this meaningful pursuit.