I like to make the memorials of family members that have died in childhood as complete as possible so parents and siblings will be on the same page with them. It makes their memorial a little less lonely and proves they were a beloved member of a family...however brief their life journey was, they were precious and made a profound impact. Everyone in my Familia Mortuorum receives a flower on (or near) their birthday. Those without a definite date of birth are honored on Christmas. I also like to decorate the graves of veterans on the appropriate days throughout the year set aside to honor them. Caring for these souls and their memory is much like "planting a tree knowing full well you'll be long gone before it's branches will offer shade". It is a righteous and necessary thing to do. AMDG