"Hopefully the passing of years forces at least a little wisdom on us whether we want it or not."

From an episode of Barney Miller

Or

Maybe we don't get any wiser as we get older, we just run out of stupid things to do.

Or

I thought growing old would take longer.

Never trust a dog to guard your food. Patrick, age 10

If you want a kitten, start by asking for a horse. Naomi, age 15

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.' Dave Barry

Don't try to get even with the ones who hurt you. Get even with the ones who helped you.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? -- Beth, Age 15

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. - Dave Barry

Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain. -- Dave Barry

When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful & difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid. Ricky Gervais