Don't ask for permission - ask for forgiveness!

Fledgling author and "Ein alter, dauerhaft gebrochener Berufspilot und Fluglehrer." In English, "An 'old,' permanently broken professional pilot and Instructor Pilot." Flugkapitän.

Most of the memorials I created or maintain stewardship are family members, close friends and colleagues. I've also created a few memorials for humans on opposite ends of the moral spectrum - from saints to unbridled evil.

For me, the most important part of a memorial is a photograph of the individual and a comprehensive Bio. Otherwise, it is merely similar to walking through a graveyard and viewing names of the unknown etched on old, mostly forgotten stones. But, maybe that ain't the point of Find a Grave.

A few words about becoming an organ donor, like me and Mark Oberparleiter.

The following excerpt is from a letter to the mother of a friend and fellow pilot/flight team member, Boeing 757 - First Officer Mark D. Oberparleiter, that lost his life in 2001...

"A letter to Mark's mother from the Donor Network of Arizona...

On behalf of Donor Network of Arizona, I would like to express my sympathy for the loss of your son, Mark. I know that only time can ease your sorrow, but you and your family have made the choice to offer new life and hope to others, and I hope this brings you some comfort and consolation during this difficult time.

As a result of your decision, the lives of several people have been dramatically changed. I would like to share with you a little bit about the transplant recipients.

The recipient of the right kidney and pancreas is a 41-year-old man in Maryland. This was a perfect match. He lives with his son. The kidney function is improving and the pancreas is doing well.

The liver and left kidney were successfully transplanted to a 43-year old gentleman in Arizona. He is single and has 4 children. He used to manage a convenience store and enjoys softball, bowling, boating and music. Both the liver and kidney are doing well.

Mark's heart went to a 44-year-old man from Arizona. He is married and has 4 children, ages 20, 19, 12 and 8. He also has two stepchildren, ages 10 and 8. He works as a carpenter. The heart function is excellent!

Both lungs were transplanted to a 43-year-old man in Arizona. He is married and has three children, one of them is 16 years old and two are 18. He is in the US Air Force and enjoys spending free time with his family. The lungs are also functioning very well.

Hope for many sightless people depends on the thoughtfulness of individuals like you who are able to think beyond their own grief and sorrow so that one day blindness will be prevented and vision restored to many who suffer with loss of sight.

Your donation of corneas has given the gift of sight to a 67-year-old man. The other cornea will be used to help research physicians in their work to understand degenerative eye condition.

Through your tissue donation, still others will have their suffering alleviated and their quality of life improved. We were able to recover both bone and veins. We were unable to recover skin, due to the time constraints that would have prevented recovery of the other tissue. With tissue donation there is up to a six-month processing period before tissue can be transplanted.

While eye and organ recipients are readily known it is more difficult to trace the donation to tissue recipients because a small amount of tissue can help so many different people. On behalf of these recipients and their families, I want to thank you for the thoughtfulness and generosity expressed at the time of your own unexpected loss.

The decision for donation will always be remembered with gratitude. You have given others a gift of life. I hope this will in someway lighten your burden in these sad times..." - Donor Network of Arizona.

You can save and enhance the lives of others - even give sight to the blind - by becoming an organ and tissue donor. As a "family decision" at the dining room table, I did so in 1997. I ensure this critical designation remains - each time I renew my driver license. Once done, you are still missing, but parts of you will live on while giving the gift of life and sight to others.

To add the Organ Donor designation to your driver license, you will be asked during the renewal process if you would like to be one. If you say "yes" - and please do - your information will be added to the Donate Life Registry.

As of 2 February 2019, there were 120,000 people waiting for life-saving organ transplants in the US...and the list is growing.

Please donate life - Talk to your family and become an "Organ Donor" at your next driver license renewal. You can do it online, too. Search Google for "organdonor dot gov sign-up"

Please donate to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. End childhood cancer - Donate Now! Families never receive a bill for treatment, travel, housing or food from St. Jude Children's Hospital. Search Google for "St. Jude donate."

Please Donate to Multiple Sclerosis Research

Multiple sclerosis is a chronic disorder of the central nervous system that causes the destruction of the insulation (myelin sheath) surrounding the nerve fibers in the brain and spinal cord as well as the nerve fibers themselves.

Significant treatment and research breakthroughs bring about positive results for those fighting Multiple Sclerosis. The perfect cure for the war on MS is very likely just around the next corner, but it only happens with donations from people like YOU. Be it either a small or a large donation, every dime brings us closer. You can help with the fight against MS by donating as little as one dollar. One single donation of a dollar might be the dollar that ends the war on MS, forever. 

My favorite donation site belongs to a non-profit, health organization dedicated to ending the devastating effects of MS by advancing the cure, prevention and treatment of multiple sclerosis and by improving the lives of affected individuals. Find a Grave rules prohibit adding website links to any page, but I will go ahead and skip "asking permission" and just ask for forgiveness, later. The best place to donate for Multiple Sclerosis Research by far is: www.solvingms.org

Note: 20 years ago, I spent two days east of runway 35R/17L at KCNW (formerly known as James Connally Air Force Base - TSTI - and now TSTC), finding/photographing 248 headstones (about 1/3 of the total) for Concord Cemetery in Waco, Texas. If anyone needs a photograph for a memorial at Concord Cemetery, please don't hesitate to contact me.

As a former professional aviator, and since 1988, I can attest to the FACT that UFO's (renamed UAP's) are not "swamp gas, a trick of the eye or mass hallucinations." The basic chemical "recipe" for life is common in the universe. Any incredulous human doubting "life" exists anywhere else in the universe is either full of arrogant hubris or in desperate need of postsecondary (or tertiary) education. Perhaps the incredulous will know the facts when/if they witness it, too. Library books are free as long as one returns them "on time."

Anyone can send me an e-mail, here:

[email protected]

Please enter "Find a Grave" in the Subject Line.

Otherwise, your email will likely land in my Spam folder - never to be seen.

Although chronic, intractable pain is dispiriting, and I feel like I'm one physical exam away from an autopsy, most surgeons continue to amaze me with their ability to repair human wreckage.

Unless we are famous - or infamous - if we fail to write our own true story and commit it to paper - after those that knew us also die, we are forgotten forever in time, our stories left untold - relegated to merely a name etched into an old stone in an old cemetery.

NEVER let go of your dreams.

James M. Paton

Organ and Tissue Donor

Remaining whole parts (never cremated) to be interred at:

Oak Grove Cemetery, Nacogdoches, Texas - I hope.